I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Someone shattered a urinal.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
