In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
