Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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