Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
