Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
