So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Gay?
German.
Pity.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
