Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
