Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
