The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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