Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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