is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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