Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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