I wish I only lived at night.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
