no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
the liver wants what the liver wants
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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