She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
