I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
