I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Never underestimate the power of titties
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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