I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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