And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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