and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
