I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
