At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize