My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
