i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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