If i come over, it means nothing
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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