No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Randomize
