Whoa Z and x make the same sound
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
