he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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