Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Randomize
