idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Can Purell be used as lube?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
