It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Is it penis luge time yet?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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