I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize