The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
