A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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