do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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