So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
