"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
