dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
