It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
