Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
