So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
