so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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