Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
