Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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