I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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