my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
You left your phone here
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