i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
