Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
no you cant smoke seaweed
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
