i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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