I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize