Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
