Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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