TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
