It was confusing and full of hummus
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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