I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
