I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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