You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
