hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
there was a trapeze. enough said
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
