so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
