For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize