the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
