Define "chronic" masturbator.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
